Reality Bites

I know we all have them - those time when life just bites you on the bum, sometimes harder than others, and I know right now if I'm not careful, I could let life take a big chunk out of my ample rear.
Nothing's 'happened', there are no great dramas or earth-shattering events looming on the horizon (for once), but this last week I've definitely felt a shift in my committment to my health + fitness. And I'm probably about right on target for history repeating itself. I am definitely one of those people who's a bit all-or-nothing when it comes to diet and exercise - I do it all 'properly', eating well every meal and following a regular schedule of activity, or pretty much nothing, and end up giving up. I've never found that ideal balance, I've never actually truly come to enjoy having to exercise and keep fit, and I am often somewhat resentful that I can't just eat what I want, when I want, and not have to deal with the repercussions. A totally hedonistic, self-gratifying state of being, I know.
This year, the light did go on in regard to what I *really* need to do to live the best life I can (I'm sorry - I cringe writing that, but seriously, it's the most fitting statement I could think of). How I feel is defined by what goes in and what comes out - what food goes in, and what activity comes out. This isn't a temporary fix - this is a required overhaul, and if I don't adhere to the terms and conditions that a healthy life requires, I'll be out of the running. And I mean that metaphorically and literally - if I don't fill my body with healthy food, I won't have the quality fuel I need to live well, and I certainly won't have the fuel I need to literally run.
Case in point: the kids and I went 'home' to my Mum's home town on the weekend for a family event, and there is always food galore wherever we go. Whilst I did temper my indulgences from what I would normally consume, it was the type of food I ate that did me in - bakery goodies, pastry goodies (pies, pasties, sausage rolls), fried foods, white bread, bacon and eggs, cake - you get the drift. I cam home on Sunday and went to the gym for my scheduled work out, and it felt like I'd become the lawn mower that just won't start, no matter how many times you pull the start cord. I completed my work out, including my Week 3 session of the Couch-to-5K, but man, it was *hard* work, and I know that it was because I was running on very poor quality fuel.
I could have prepared myself for the weekend, loaded the car up with plenty of fruit and healthy snack, and still indulged a bit in the other food on offer. But it came down to not being prepared, and that toxic 'can't be bothered' attitude that is so familiar. And you would think I had learned my lesson after that experience. Nup. I've kind of stayed in that 'can't be bothered' mode, even until this morning. After my weight gain at WW last week, I had realised that I really need to be dong some form of activity every day, not just the gym 3 x week, but I just couldn't be bothered. I know I need to be eating better, and being even more mindful about what I'm putting in my body, but I just can't be bothered. And yes, I realise how pathetic and whiny I sound. That's why I'm posting this morning, to record this state of being and be held accountable - to whom, I'm not entirely sure - but things need to change (again), and I need a good kick up the bum.
I did lose at WW last night - a whole 600g - and so what did I do? What any sensible person would do of course - headed straight for the fish and chip shop to drown my sorrows in a schnitzel burger and chips. Yep. And then my scheduled trip to the gym this morning? I wouldn't be sitting here typing this if I was where I'm supposed to be. Not the brightest crayon in the box at the moment, I know. In the interest's of not completely beating myself up, I did wake up this morning with a flare up of my arthritis, which makes it kind of hard to walk until after lunchtime, so I am intending to head to the gym after work. But the point is I'm finding it way to easy to make excuses and put things off again, and I'm familiar enough with my own self-sabotage to realise that I'm at a critical junction - I can carry on asand usual, and end up as I usually do, or make a U-turn and head back to where I was going. There is no end destination, rather a life-long journey of health and wellbeing, inside and out, and I know that I'm the only one who can make that choice, and travel that path.
To help me along the way, I'm going to record this journey in pictures, as well. In my previous weight loss attempts, I haven't taken pictures of myself in the process, maybe putting myself out there on the big wide web will be enough incentive to keep going when staying in bed feels like a far better option!

January 1 2011

February 12 2011

January 1 2011

February 12 2011

So onwards and upwards from here on in, I know it's not going to be a walk in the park, and I know I'll hit the proverbial wall again many times. But that's the beauty of life - each new day is a fresh start, full of opportunity, it's up to each of us what we do with it. And if I can encourage someone along the way with my ramblings, even better. Enjoy :-)

So there was this girl.....

...who once upon a time thought running was just plain stupid. Running hurt - in this girl's case, a lot.
Yep, no points for guessing said girl is me. Even as a kid, I had a *very* strong dislike of running, and avoided it at all costs, because it caused me pain (I've had problems with my feet my whole life), and I just plain didn't enjoy it.
In 2006, a couple of friends ran the Adelaide City to Bay Fun Run and whilst at dinner with them one night, I was congratulating them on their achievement, and one friend said to me 'you should do it next year'. I laughed and said 'I don't run'. He said 'why not?'. I said 'I don't *do* running'. He said again 'why not?', and I just didn't have an answer - 'it hurts' seemed completely lame and inadequate. This friend (at at later dates I would have used the term loosely!!!) challenged me to run the City to Bay the following year, and I accepted, then wondered what had just happened.
Long story short, and fast forward 9 months to September 2007, I ran the 6km leg of that race, and wondered why it had taken me so long to embrace something that I had actually come to enjoy - I had become a runner.
Well, I thought I had. I didn't run again after the race, and intended to start again after that summer, as heat + exercise + me don't mix well. Just as I planned to lace up again, I got hurt at work and sustained a permanent back injury. I thought I would never be able to run again, and all of a sudden I really, really missed it. And I thought that was it, all over red rover, forever.
But now it's been nearly 3 years since my injury, and I'm up and running again :-) Literally, and metaphorically. I can't explain why I felt such a *need* to run again, when I knew it would cause me pain. But I did, and I knew I had to try.
Starting again as seen a change in lifestyle and mind set, in ways I couldn't have anticipated. After my injury, I gained about 10 kg, and I went back to Weight Watchers. At the same time, I began experiencing some other issues with my health that were eventually diagnosed as psoriatic arthritis (a 'cousin' of rheumatoid arthritis), which initially presented in my feet. I could barely walk, let alone run, so trying to exercise to lose weight was virtually impossible, but somehow I managed to lose 12kg over 6 months. Then I stopped going to WW, and gained a few kgs back over the next few months.
December last year, and I had started a new job - going from part-time to full-time - and had had a year of being sick, and I knew I had to do *something* about my body, from a holistic perspective. I started thinking about running again after reading the awesome Run Like A Mother, and wondered if I could do it. I went back to WW again, and wasn't particularly successful, nor was I motivated to get moving. I joined the new gym in town, but didn't go, citing not being able to due to having the kids full time for the holidays. Then once they went to their dad's for the rest of the holidays, I knew the excuses had run out, and things had to change. I signed up for personal training at the gym, started tracking properly for WW, started really started thinking about what I was putting into my body, and was inspired and encouraged by Cathy Zielske's Eat Less, Move More challenge. And voila, things started changing. Funny about that :-)
I go to the gym every 3rd day, and do my weights program, then a session on the treadmill. I'm doing the Couch-to-5K program, and so far it's all going along swimmingly (boom boom). My thinking has changed, my priorities have changed, and I'm seeing results. I've set my goal to run the Adelaide City to Bay again, only this time I'm aiming for the 12km. I know I can do it, pain or not, but the funny thing so far is that my back is holding up well. No increased pain as I had anticipated and prepared myself for, and my arthritis is pretty under control at the moment, so so far, so good. And I know that's the only way I can do this, one day at a time, and deal with each day as it comes, with whatever it brings.
I still can't get over how my thinking has changed in such a short time, how getting to the gym has become as important as going to work and providing for my kids, because I know what I do now will set the foundations for the rest of my life. How being mindful of what I put into my body is making me more conscious about eating what I need to be healthy, and not just eating what I want because it will give me about .02 seconds of pleasure, and leave me feeling icky. How setting goals and working towards them permeates other areas of my life and gives me cause to stop and look at the effect my actions have on myself and others. This (to date short) journey has already taught me more than I could have anticipated, and I am feeling freedom in the discipline I'm trying to embrace. I know this change in my life can only be good - for me and for my kids.
The sub-title of this blog came from a conversation I had with my butcher - I was talking with a friend as I was waiting to be served, and she commented that I'd lost weight, and asked how I was doing it. I told her I've gone back to the gym and started running again, and the butcher asked 'how do you do that?', and I found myself saying 'you just put one foot in front of the other and pick up the pace'. In thinking about our exchange later, I thought about how that philosophy applies to so much of my life. Sometimes that's all you can do, put one foot in front of the other, and sometimes you've got to pick up the pace. But I also know the truth is that life is a race set before me, that I need to keep my eyes fixed on the race God has set me on, and that He is the ultimate goal I am running towards

'Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.'
(Hebrews 12:1)

Oh, and the 'stitch' part of 'The Running Stitch'? I make stitches - in knitting, in fabric, on paper and at work (not that nurses can stitch people up, but we can help 'stitch' them back together :-) ). I haven't blogged for a long while, but I want to record this new chapter in the story of my life - I hope it's going to be a good one :-)

In the interests of full disclosure.....

... I'm posting pictures of the shambles that is my garden in it's current state, partly for my own record, and partly to remind me in the future what happens when I let stop getting outside and enjoying the blessing of what God has given me!!!

The mess comes partly from the cleaning up, and I can see the potential in my mind, it really won't take much and won't take long to be productive again. Let me take you on a tour....

The back of the shed, destined to become the chook run

First of the raised beds (which has since been planted out with broccoli, cauliflower and lettuce)

The first of the raised garden beds, with the next couple of in-ground beds prepared for planting. Newly pruned nectarine tree along the fence in the background, neighbour's star jasmine spilling over our fence to be chopped right back!!

The nectarine (one the left) and apple (on the right) trees were so overgrown from neglect, we pruned them right back to try and start again. I may have killed them in the process. Time will tell....

Big pile of green waste = big job to turn it into mulch and compost.....

The pond (complete with soccer ball - doesn't everyonoe have one of those in their pond garden??) The tree will need to be felled as it is appears to be diseased, and I'll put something there in it's place. Once the pond surrounds have been weeded and cleaned up, it will become our herb garden.


No. 2 son pruning very overgrown and tangled passionfruit

The end result!!



Shade pergola that will eventually have vines climbing all over it (north facing)

Patio that needs a makeover (north facing)

Citrus trees planted along fence to be espaliered, this patch will become the tomato patch once it's prepared (western side of garden).

Holes for said citrus trees being dug by No. 1 son (western side fence)

Hothouse will be built off this side of the shed

Recently planted fruit trees - posts will have wires running through them to espalier trees along (eastern side fence).

East facing side of the house - great potential, but doesn't get a lot of sun.

I've got lots of plans for the garden - or should I say we, because the kids are as much a part of this as I am. I'm good with the ideas, and even the logistics of executing them to a degree, I jsut can't *do* everything I want to physically (hence the child labour pics, lol!!), but I am so very blessed to have lots of people around me who are more than willing to help. Our plans include:
- enclosing the back of the shed to become the chook run
- erecting a hothouse off the other side of the shed
- 2 more raised beds
- finish off the wiring for espaliering the fruit trees
- plant more indigineous species
- build some birdbaths and feeders
- construct trellises for climbing veggies
- plant kiwi fruit to grow up the shade pergola
- spruce up the patio area
- put in a Hills Hoist
- work out what to plant in shaded area along east side of the house
- work out how to utilise more of lawn for growing food
- work out how to utilise 'gap' between western side of shed and fence (compost? worms?)

Oh, the possibilities!!!!

I refuse to be reduced by it

'I can be changed by what happens to me, I refuse to be reduced by it'
- Maya Angelou

Sara posted her weekly YOU:create canvas on Thursday with this quote, and as He often does, God uses His people to speak to me in His perfect timing. Me + self pity have been having a bit of a shindig lately, much as I've tried to deny it, much as I consciously continue to choose joy, I've been allowing my life circumstances to limit me. I have chronic pain from a back injury and an auto-immune disease that means living with varying degrees of pain and fatigue, depending on what the day brings, and I'm the first to admit that I do use that as an excuse for not doing things - things that I really want to do. Which is very, very, very lame.

I've been witness to some events in the lives of people around me lately that have brought sadness and grief to them and the lives of those around them, and it's been one of those times that's made me take a good look at myself and my life, and realise just how blessed I am. Regardless of what any day throws at me, ultimately I have a very charmed, very blessed life, and it is up to me to make the most of the gift of each day I'm given. As the quote says, I can - and will - be changed by whatever happens to me, but I can also choose how I react to it. I can live a life shrouded in self-pity, or I can defy the chaos and with God's strength rise above it, to look for the Light and bathe in it when I find it.

I love my garden. At the moment, it's an absolute shambles because it's a work in progress, but I love it. I love that I have it, and I love it's potential, but I haven't been out in it because of how I've been feeling, because I've let self-pity make excuses and keep me inside. Today I chose joy, and told the pain where to go and got back out there :-) I'll probably pay for it tomorrow, but for today, it was just what I needed. And God knew I needed it :-) Psalm 37:4 tells us 'Delight yourself in the Lord and He will grant you the desires of your heart'. I know that verse to mean that if we delight ourselves in our Father, He will place His desires for us in our heart (which can often come as a surprise, lol!!). Today, I discovered that if we delight ourselves in Him, if we turn our eyes and our hearts to Him, He will give us even the tangible things our hearts desire :-) I have always wanted to find an intact bird's nest that has been abandoned, and today when my boys pulled the dead grapevine off the water tank, guess what we found :-) An intact, abandoned bird's nest. We actually found 3 nests, 2 of which were broken in the pulling down of the vine. Not only did He grant me my heart's desire, He did it in abundance :-)

Oh, but it didn't stop there :-) Youngest DS and I then found a 'skeleton leaf', that was just so beautiful in it's fragility. And then I saw the bluebells were in bloom, and just bringing colour and happiness against the backdrop of the messiness of the garden. Then to top it all off, youngest DS comes with a gumnut and a gum blossom, marvelling to me how it goes from something so small to something so big, and how cool is that? He felt compelled to take photos - as did I, of the other treasures God gave us. So that's my YOU:create this week - we created memories of the awesomeness that is our God, and how much He delights in giving us what our heart's desire, just when we least expect it :-)

(click on pic for better view)

'For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also'
(Matthew 6:21)

The results of the unexpected

I landed in hospital quite unexpectedly earlier this week, my body voted my appendix out, and decided to cause a bit of chaos in the process. Not to worry, 5 days later, I'm out of hospital and being looked after very well by dear friends (the children are off gallivanting with my mum and step-dad!!), and as I've had so much time on my hands (*snort* - most of it was spent anaesthetised, nauseated or just dealing with pain, lol!!!), I've been trying to keep distracted with knitting.

I've been working on Elizabeth Zimmermann's February Baby Sweater (Ravelry link), and am now on the home stretch. True to form, I started this cardi for a baby last year, she is now 15 months old, so the cardi is now for a new babe. I have at least another week off work, so this will be my goal, to get it finished by the end of the week.



(Back view, terrible, pic, better ones to come)

I also made myself a top when I made DD's skirt in the previous post, very comfy and sooo easy to out tgether, I see more of these in my sewing future in a myriad of fabrics :-)



(I promise to limit the bad iPhone pics to a minimum!!!)

I'm just catching up on blog posts now, and Sara, you have *no* idea how appropriate your canvas is for my life right now. I'm thinking my recuperation may include making one of my own :-)

This is awesome :-)

http://sozowhatdoyouknow.blogspot.com/2010/05/join-me-self-stitched-september.html

Sorry for the messy, non-hyperlinked link, I'm posting from my phone whilst in hospital (long story!!), but wanted to get this down. Fantastic concept, and the pledge says it all :-)


'I, stitchingmum of http://livelovecreate-stitchingmum.blogspot.com/, sign up as a participant of Self-Stitched-September. I endeavour to wear at least one handmade and/or refashioned’ item(s) of clothing and/or accessories/ jewellery every day for the duration of September 2010'.

So far, this month I have worn as per the pledge:
Friday Sept 3 - refashioned skivvy (turtleneck)
Saturday Sept 4 - hand knitted socks and sewn wool cardi
Sunday Sept 5 - sewn batwing top and refashioned skirt
Monday Sept 6 - hand knitted socks
I've been in hospital since then, so no further to report!!

Which will go perfectly with the 2 month pledge I've signed up for over at Wardrobe Refashion, http://nikkishell.typepad.com/wardroberefashion/ .

A much tidier post and pics to cone when I get home, which will hopefully be soon :-)

Creativity abounding

Although not much to show right now - more pics to come, but for this week's YOU:create

A skirt for DD, pattern (Obi apron from burdastyle) and fabric (from Tessuti) picked out by herself, alterations to pattern by me :-)


And in culinary creativity, I had plans for Beef and Red Wine casserole with veggies etc for tea, which instead got turned into these



Yuuuuummmmmmm.........

Back later with more creative goodness :-)